A friend recently sent me an article by Francis Frangipane regarding ambition and how our pride keeps us away from God. Here is a short excerpt:

"Ambition is very deceptive. It can seem just like obedience, yet because we don't truly know the Lord, the voice we find ourselves obeying is not God's, but our own. Our vision can actually be from God, but our motive be self. Why? Because we begin thinking we can accomplish the will of God through the strength of man. We are seeking a breakthrough; God wants to give us brokenness."

I know God has given me a calling for songwriting, but the article points out that God's plans are accomplished by submission, not exertion. I think maybe all this time I have been trying to write songs because that's what I thought a calling for songwriting was all about. And so I would question God when I couldn't write anything good. Instead, God is merely calling me to be a servant and learn what it is to be Christ-like. The songwriting is incidental, and can be fully accomplished by God's power at the appropriate time. I think I have inadvertently become ambitious with my music; not because I want to be rich and famous, but because I think that God still needs my help to get things done. I am still the one that has been deciding what I need to learn, who I need to talk to about music, and how I need to get exposure for my songs. In short, I have been thinking like the world.

And I suppose that is why lately I have been very frustrated with making music (or the lack of). I have been reading the Bible more than ever, but lyrics are eluding me. I have been praying more than ever, but music does not fill me with joy. I have been learning what it truly means to be a follower of Christ, but that means I have to give up trying to follow the world. And the world is all I know when it comes to music, so to give that up means I am left with nothing that makes sense to me anymore. Right where God can start stepping in and really using me.

So I am excited to see where this year will go. I hold fast to the promise that God has given me--that I will make beautiful music for Him. But I am slowly letting go of what I think that means based on my experience, and learning what that really means to Him. I will try not to rush, and not to write just for the sake of it as if I needed to get something done. I will thank God even if I have no songs to sing, because He is the one who gives and takes away; but still we praise Him. I will enjoy what I have already written with a new understanding, and not need it to go any further.

Matt Redman once said about his song "Heart of Worship" that he had written it about his church situation and never thought that other people would identify so strongly with it. There are songs I have written that are just between me and God, but who's to say how He might use them someday. Right now I must learn how to deal with the possibility that He will never use them in this lifetime in any way other than to teach me what it is to sacrifice my ambition at the cross.

i can understand where you come from with this I'm only 16 and ambition and pride can be a real struggle in my life. i also write songs and i've had the same problem with writing music and trying to rush it to get it finished. what i never noticed until late is that you can't rush the will of god in music or anything pertaining to life. i've been trying my hardest to allow god to overcome my life and let him be my leader and not me trying to lead myself. and i still have a lot of work to do!
being in highschool is very hard when it comes to this with all the influences and other students ignorance to people feelings. but im trying to stay strong with my goal of allowing god complete control!

Just letting you know your not alone

wow just noticed this is three years old lol woopsie :P