Christian Songwriter's Network

I am unable to sleep tonight and have been thinking about something I wrote on my website some years back. I went back and looked at it because it reminds me of the love and care God showers us with during difficult times. My times have been a bit difficult lately with the loss of a great granddaughter, a granddaughter in crisis and trying to hurt herself, my son's marriage is breaking apart to name a few....

I wrote this, oh, maybe 7 years ago when I was still a very new Christian. I was searching for answers, for ways to be able to love a father that I could not see or touch in the flesh. This was very difficult because of the abusive home I grew up in. The word "father" did not hold much love in my heart. This article was supposed to be about how my pastor has been an inspiration to me in overcoming troubling times by relying on God's power, not his own, not anyone else. God alone gets all of the praise for how He works wonders in my life and the lives of those I care about. I know now that this article was not so much about Ben but about the hope I found in having a relationship with God...about finding a Father that I could trust and love.

*************************

In my search for a better understanding of who God is and a closer relationship with Him, I find that other people are a great window looking into the heart of God. I used to wonder how I could ever really know how God feels about me. Then, when I came to fully understand that He made us in His own image I could finally begin to experience how God interacts with me. As I began a search into knowing Him more I found that when I am truly seeking Him I find Him most anywhere I look. By seeking God in all people and situations I am amazed at how open, visible, and approachable He actually is. I wanted to share with you what I have found in God thru a friend named Ben. He has greatly influenced my walk with the Father.

Ben is a remarkable human being and I have learned so much about who God is by watching him. It is no surprise to me that God is using Ben in the mighty way that He is. There are many qualities about Ben that I could share that are much the same as many people....his kindness, his devotion to God, his sense of humor, his intelligence, on and on....but what I really want to share is just a few of the ways I have been privileged to see Ben as a window to God's heart and love.

Ben is one of God's greatest gifts to me. His walk with the Lord inspires. He teaches me much about what it means to abide with God and to seek Him in His fullness of glory. I have heard Ben's sermons weekly and always come away feeling that God was with him as he spoke. God's anointing is on Ben. Through Ben's sermons God reaches out to let me know His love is true and faithful, His will is supreme, and His way is perfect.

Ben's love for his "flock" is clear. His call to servant hood is constantly fulfilled as he ministers to us. I have watched Ben as he has walked through the grief of losing church members and especially those that have been treasured friends. Through these times I have watched him serve others to help them through their grief, give comfort to others when he needed comforting, and give encouragement to grieving families while he needed encouragement. I have witnessed God carrying Ben through these times. I have seen Ben turn to God knowing that in His time, He will help him to find peace and strength. From this I have full confidence that God is steady and will never leave us no matter how tough things get.

I have seen Ben full of pride for his young daughter, Gabby, as she ministered to children in an orphanage in Mexico. In his face I could see the pride our Lord feels every time one of us reaches out in His name.

I have seen him lovingly discipline his youngest daughter, Greta, and in this saw the wisdom of God's discipline in our lives....not to punish but to teach and grow us into His likeness because He loves us so. I have also seen Ben sit in the quiet of a room with Gaby on his knee forehead to forehead with nothing more on his heart than to just be with her, his face showing the contentment and happiness it brought him. Oh, how my Father in heaven loves to spend time with me....doing nothing but being quiet together and loving each other.

Yes, Ben has been my pastor, my friend, and a leader, but more than any of this he has set an example for me on how I want to walk with the Lord. He has shown me, through his behavior and actions the love, hope, and fulfillment of promises that I can expect from my Heavenly Father in return for my love and obedience to Him!

************************

I think I can sleep now